You learn a lot from having kids if you pay attention. About yourself. About how things work. Or don't.
One thing I didn't expect to pick up from them was a clearer picture on the impacts of agency. What having it does to you. Not having it. What the illusion of it means. And most importantly what shattering the illusion does.
The kids are all on their way into or out of high school. So agency is always a thing. They don't have a lot.
High school is all about control. Lots or rules. Rules designed for expediency. Rules in service of the governors. Not the governed.
Of course, they are first sold an illusion. Schools tell them they have choice. They are empowered to pick their own path. Own their future.
It's bullshit. Like a shitty roleplaying game. They quickly find out they are passengers in someone else's story. Players in someone else's play.
No matter how good intentioned, that sucks.
It led to a lot of trouble for us parents. We struggled until we figured out what was going on. Until we helped them see the rails they were stuck on.
Then they learned how to work within the structure. Work around it. Bend it. Break it even when they found the right crack.
It helps them to know that the ride they are on will end. They get a graduation day.
Yeah, I just compared the US to teenagers.
